By
Matthew Ramsay
A
key moment in my journey to the priesthood was an assignment I received in my
first year of theology at Mount Angel Seminary. I was sent to work at a youth
prison. The high school age guys I worked with were Catholic but couldn’t get to
the Mass offered at the prison. My job was to bring them communion. They had
all committed violent crimes and were going to be locked up for a long time. At
the same time, they all wanted forgiveness, respect, love, and a fuller life
than they had known so far. The days when I met these young men began in the
seminary chapel. I would pray over the readings of the day, looking for a
message that would speak to their lives in prison. Then I would take a few
hosts from the tabernacle and bring them to the prison. After the communion
service we would talk, sometimes about forgiveness, redemption, and the
struggles to live a Catholic life in prison, other times about baseball.
This
ministry has sat with me as an image of what the priesthood is. I was literally
bringing Jesus to those young men, and over the year I came to see Jesus in
them as well. Walking alone through the prison for the first time was a
frightening experience, but it brought me to a lot of grace.
The
path to communion in the youth prison began in Humboldt. With a loving Catholic
family I attended St. Dominic School and went to Mass at St. Augustine Parish.
My faith grew through the parish youth group and retreats at St. Peter’s
Monastery. As involved as I was, the priesthood was not even remotely on my
mind.
This
changed with a conference I attended outside Edmonton the summer before my
grade 12 year. A priest challenged us to pray a simple prayer every day: “God
help me to know your will and do it in my life.” What he said made sense, and I
began to pray. This was a dangerous move. I prayed that prayer every day, and
gradually, silently, the thought of priesthood appeared in my mind. I tried to
push it away, but I kept on praying, waiting for God to give me another answer.
Another answer didn’t come, and the answer I didn’t want got stronger.
God
put three important events in my path that helped me accept his call. First was
World Youth Day 2000 in Rome. There I learned to love the Mass. We had daily
Mass with anywhere from twenty people in a convent chapel to two million people
and the Pope in a field outside Rome, and I saw a beauty and power I had never
seen before.
Second
was the John Paul II Bible School in Radway, Alberta. There I learned to love
prayer. This school is now closed, but the year I spent there taught me serious
prayer. Prayer became a deep conversation and union with the God who loves me.
And this God was still calling me to be a priest.
Third
was Behold the Lamb, a traveling missionary team. There I learned to love the
people. We worked across Saskatchewan, Alberta, BC, and the Territories, and I
saw the difference God makes in people’s lives. If one year helping people
discover God was so meaningful, what about a lifetime?
Over
these years and in hundreds of ways, God changed my heart. The call to
priesthood, which looked impossible, unpleasant, and dull, became exciting,
beautiful, and real. Finally, after a few years of university in San Francisco,
I entered Mount Angel Seminary for the Diocese of Saskatoon.
My
journey to the seminary happened largely outside the diocese, but since
entering seminary the diocese has played a much bigger role. I am grateful for
the wonderful people I have met throughout the diocese, working in hospitals,
schools, parishes, youth programs, CCO, Face to Face, and many other places.
The lesson I learned at the youth prison appears again and again. Bringing
Jesus to people and finding Jesus in people is the way I want to spend my life.
Halfway
through my seminary years I came to a wise old monk very frustrated. I had been
working and praying for years, trying to grow into a good priest, but I
realized that I didn’t even know what I wanted to grow into. What does it mean
to be a priest? The monk sat back, closed his eyes, and gave me an answer: To
be a priest is to sacrifice yourself, in union with Christ, for the salvation
of souls. I try to do that. When I do, I find that sacrifice is never just
sacrifice. Christ’s sacrifice moved to Easter, and any sacrifice I make with
Christ moves to its own resurrection. That is to say, I always get back far
more than I give.
Looking
ahead now to my priestly ordination what I’m most looking forward to is
watching people encounter God. This might happen through the Mass, the
Sacrament of Reconciliation, or other prayers and conversation. However it
happens, helping the people loved by God know the God who loves them is an
experience worth giving my life for.
Recent Comments